Love and Relationships
5 C’s of a Good Relationship | A Catalyst and Key for Love
Before you start building a relationship, it’s nice to know that you like someone and they like you back. Everybody feels the same way. But being in a relationship takes more than just liking each other. The same goes for loving someone. It takes more than calling someone “baby” or saying “I love you.”
Have you checked with you and your partner if both of you follow the 5 C’s of a good relationship?
Take your time to fill in the checkboxes. If you don’t know the 5 C’s, they’re Chemistry, Commonality, Constructive Conflict, Courtesy, and Commitment.
Understanding How To Have A Good Relationship By Using the 5 C’s
“If I want this to last, I want to enjoy every single bit of it”
The 5 C’s are like the fundamentals of building a relationship with a partner. A guideline to help people remember how to do so.
#1 Chemistry:
Chemistry between two people is what makes the relationship exciting. Some people can be introverted, while others can be extroverted. People think that chemistry is the spark when you both experience the high or how good they are with each other.
On the contrary, the chemistry between two people is how compatible they can be despite the highs and lows they face. Like chemicals, it simply depends on how they form and bond. Some people are reactive and then become attached, or they are naturally dormant but when pulled by another person, their behavior suddenly changes.
The exchange one gives to another either strengthens the bond or weakens it. It’s all about how one bonds with another when days become boring or when a certain event gets both people to be stimulated.
#2 Commonality:
Commonality is the opposite of Polarity. It is what pulls people toward each other and what makes them come toward the relatability of their lives. A lot of people get this wrong. They think that it’s just what two people have in common. Although partially true, the truth is commonality is how two people go through their lives with such relatability that they feel like best friends having common interests.
Polarity on the other hand is what separates the two, such as polarizing personalities, circumstances, mindsets, as well as behavior. Although it sounds scary, a relationship can survive with low chemistry as long as the commonality between the two or how they both handle polarizing circumstances is handled through proper communication in the relationship.
Polarity is not as bad as you think. Think of it as a challenge towards your commonality. And a relationship thrives on overcoming challenges. It’s how you strike a balance between the two that matters.
#3 Constructive Conflict:
The word conflict itself is scary. But a healthy dose of conflict actually helps the relationship. Anger is not purely hatred, rather it is passion at its extreme. When a lover or a loved one gets into your skin or causes you to be angry, it indicates how easily they are to access you. It’s not a bad thing either. That goes to show how much they mean to you.
This doesn’t mean you should fight all the time, rather, engage yourselves in a healthy conflict where both sides get to properly exchange each other’s mindsets, thoughts, grievances, and more. Just make sure that both of you are not showing any signs of the four Horsemen of communication (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling).
A bad sign that there’s a problem between the two is when one becomes indifferent to the conflict. The opposite of love is indifference and not hate. When one becomes more reluctant to solve the conflict or becomes cold, you’ll understand that the fighting spirit is not there anymore. They’re more likely to give up or have given up on the relationship already.
#4 Courtesy:
Majority of the people tend to forget what courtesy in a relationship is about. It’s not just about manners, but how you discipline yourself from disrespecting your partner. Courtesy is reminding yourself that you know your lover in a very deep aspect, where you know where to shove a knife in the exposed slits of their armor.
Another word that relates to courtesy is restraint. Remember that your partner should be respected and that their honor should never be stained by you especially when both of you are in a heated argument. You both have the power to destroy each other, but you respect each other to never let that happen.
#5 Commitment:
Last but certainly not the least, the most vital of all C’s. Without commitment, all the other C’s would be useless, and being in a relationship would be in vain. Commitment is what makes the relationship work. Building a relationship without commitment is like building a boat and not screwing or welding the metal sheets together, expecting the vessel to float.
Understandably, commitment is a tiresome process; usually, people with patience and self-control can go through with it. But, just because you aren’t patient or have no self-control, doesn’t mean you can’t commit– although a change of mentality and allowing yourself to be in proper control and to be patient enough allows you to commit to the relationship with minimal issues. When you commit, it means you’re willing to go through any changes, any depths just to keep the relationship afloat.
The Sixth Secret C: Consistency
“Consistency is Key”
Even if you followed/have the 5 C’s of a good relationship, it wouldn’t matter if it was done inconsistently. Every good relationship needs consistency in what they do. When you build your connection with the 5 C’s along with consistency, you are sure to have a long-lasting relationship.
