Realities
Am I Ready for Marriage?
Marriage may sound like a light topic when you’re single or if you’re young and still making a name for yourself. But at some point, you’d ask yourself, “Am I ready for marriage”?
Marriage is different from a wedding, so don’t get it twisted. A wedding is a celebration when a couple is finally married; a marriage is the unification of a couple. People tend to think of the celebration first rather than what’s after.
They think of how much they will spend, where the marriage will take place, who is invited to the banquet, who will be the bridesmaid etc. — all about the celebration, rather than thinking about what happens after the unification.
Remember the phrase “Til Death Do Us Part.” As an aspiring spouse getting ready for marriage, there are many factors to face, circumstances, and points that need to be changed. Do you truly know your partner? In marriage, there’s no room for secrets.
When you’re married, you both need to be transparent with each other. Check your financial status. Will you be able to provide for yourself, and your spouse, knowing that the cost of living is now doubled? Check your mental health. Every day, you will face challenges that either make you or break your psyche.
Marriage is like a bed of roses. There’s beauty and softness from the petals and the bud, but then there’s pain and inconveniences from the thorns. Are you and your partner ready to go through life as husband and wife? Because whatever you do, it also affects your future spouse. Almost every decision needs verification from your partner.
You can find trust issues in every relationship, especially when the relationship has gone long enough. Trust in each other is the most pivotal part of getting married. The whole point of trusting each other is to ensure that despite being far away, you can relax without being anxious about what the other person is doing.
With all that’s been said, can you truly say you’re ready for marriage?
How to Know If You’re Ready For Marriage
Here are some factors that indicate readiness for marriage:
#1 Maturity
Love takes time. When people start their relationship experiences, they may still be too immature, selfish, and lack the wisdom to handle one. They tend to decide what’s good for themselves and never what’s good for the relationship.
At a certain point in their lives and after countless events, people eventually learn from their mistakes or take their time to reflect on how they handled such experiences. They remember how they reacted when their partners confronted them, how they behaved whenever things weren’t going their way, or the costly mistakes that almost severed the relationships.
When people reflect on their ways and turn towards a better way of responding to events, they become wiser — they mature.
#2 Willingness
Willingness and commitment go hand in hand. Without the will to commit, there’s no point in staying or pushing the relationship further. Marriage pushes both couples to their tipping point where they need to get out of their comfort zones. If they can do it, then so can you. The will of a person allows the relationship to reach its goals.
#3 Stability
Being stable or having a grip on the relationship is crucial to the growth of your relationship with each other. For instance, about finances, being married means that both of you will be sharing bills or responsibilities in providing. For financial circumstances, you can decide which of you will provide the necessities and which of the two will pay for the bills.
Finance aside, you also need mental and emotional stability. You can’t have detrimental thoughts take over each of you. When reacting to situations that trigger anger or extreme emotions, for example, it is best to have self-control before lashing out. Decisions should be made with a sound mind, and not impulsively.
#4 Togetherness
Spouses are meant to do things together most of the time. Decisions, leisure, and growth were meant for both parties. One can’t decide for the other, and to speak on their behalf. When you get married, you allow yourself and your spouse to be one with each other. You are half of a whole and not the other way.
#5 Objectivity
When conflict arises, how do you face it? Do you react with your heart filled with resentment or emotions full to the brim? Was it all because you were hurt? Remember how your organs are aligned. The brain goes on top first, then your heart. You may grieve and feel bad but always remember that the person you will marry will be your spouse of a lifetime, so always be careful with your words and how you handle situations.
When you face each other in a conflict and choose to do something about the problem and not the other person, you show signs that you are willing to compromise or do something to solve the problem, rather than linger on the fight.
Problems are meant to be faced together with the goal in mind. You won’t be able to see or understand solutions by yourself due to your emotions getting the better of you. That’s why you are together; you can see each other in what you can’t see on your own.
#6 Sacrifice
Sometimes you need to compromise. Some necessities weigh more than others, but it ultimately depends on you. Without committing any sacrifice for your partner, you are not putting effort into going through heights and depths with your partner. Compromise is needed in marriage. There will be times you will face situations where it’s difficult to decide.
For example: you either take the job offer outside the country you live in and take the higher pay, leaving behind your spouse, or you stay in the same place with your spouse and reject the offer– will you be willing to choose one over the other? It takes two to decide which is best for both and beneficial for the relationship.
#7 Courtesy
As long-term couples, you both understand how each other functions from head to toe. You know each other’s secrets, strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. Courtesy is when you both restrain yourselves from weaponizing each other’s issues or personality. Both you and your partner have mutual respect for not utilizing each other’s dark sides and issues.
#8 Trust and Reliance
Trust is different from reliance. You rely on someone because you know they will do the tasks assigned to them. You trust someone because they understand how deeply it means for you to rely on them to finish the task — and if they can do it with utmost quality, they’ve earned your trust. You rely on your partner for doing things, you trust your partner because of how they can do things. The same goes for you. They will be relying on you and trust you if you can reciprocate.
I Think I Am Not Ready For Marriage
Take your time. Marriage isn’t something that everybody should jump into quickly. There’s nothing wrong with not being ready to get married. Some couples get married in their late fifties or sixties. It is better to get married late, rather than getting married at such a young age only to end up divorcing or separating from each other after many years.
I Think I Am Ready For Marriage
If you and your partner have checked off the factors, give marriage a shot. Enjoy the process of growing together. The joys of marriage don’t come from the big events, but rather the sliver of moments done together that create the whole memory. Marriage is a life-changing event, so both of you should know what you’re getting into.
It’s like being in a relationship for the first time, but being married is the real thing. You will go through the honeymoon phase where everything is sweet and rose-tinted. Time will come when trouble comes to your paradise, and how you both stand against the storm will truly tell how much you were meant for each other.
But if you truly know your partner as well as they know you, and if you both understand what it takes to be in the life of being married, go for it!
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