REALITIES
The Couple that Gambled for Love
Love is a gamble. You can put everything on the line for it, and it will still be an either-or situation. Either you win or lose it all.
Think of it as the pot in poker. To win it, all you need to do is deal your cards correctly. Which card should I let go? Should I go all in? — You have all these decisions to make without knowing the possible result.
Gambling is all about taking chances.
But some people don’t want to take the risk. They want to stay in their comfort zones — that way they won’t have to experience the heartache of losing.
But you can’t win anything from standing in the bleachers. Sometimes you need to go in the front door and take what is yours.
Are you willing to take leaps and chances for love?
Take it from a previous client of mine.
As a matchmaker, I’ve encountered a variety of ways men deal with love. Some look for it still feeling hopeful. Others, already on the verge of giving up.
However, this client, Terry, was different.
When I met him during one of our company’s singles tours in Ukraine — an event where men can meet single Ukrainian women — he said that he wasn’t searching for someone, and that he was only there because he was curious about the culture.
He had no certainty (or perhaps any interest) he’d come back with a woman and not just a couple bucks poorer. But despite that, he went anyway.
He was a stand-out, that was how I remembered him. He stood out because throughout our events in Odessa and Nikolaev, he didn’t have a single date.
Yes, he mingled with the women, but nothing more. After every social, he would go straight back to his room and call it a day.
Admittedly, that made me nervous. Here I was, a matchmaker, and I couldn’t get him to be even remotely engaged in the socials.
But that was until he saw Lilya in Kherson, the last stop of the socials.
When Terry told me about how they actually met, I thought it was one of the most romantic things I had ever heard.
It turns out, they didn’t actually approach each other at the event.
In fact, they only bumped into each other outside the hall. Lilya was just about to leave. She had made up her mind to give up on the event since she hadn’t met anybody. And that’s when she bumped into Terry.
“Where the bleep were you all night?”
- — Was the first thing Terry thought to himself when he saw Lilya. He ran up to her and invited her back into the hall.
A spur of the moment decision, which turned out to be a key moment for the both of them.
The man who wasn’t interested in meeting someone, personally asked one girl to stay so he could get to know her. I remember seeing them as they talked during the event. Since my job was to make sure everyone at least had someone they got to know, I was glad Terry found his.
For someone who doesn’t believe love can happen almost instantly, Terry and Lilya sure made me doubt. Before me was a couple, who just bumped into each other one night, yet are now full of love for each other.
After the event, they told me their story had a pretty rough continuation.
They managed to keep in touch just fine. While the language barrier was a bit of a challenge, it wasn’t something they couldn’t deal with.
That was until about three weeks later, when out of nowhere, they lost touch.
Terry said that he dropped his phone in a pool, which cost him all of Lilya’s contact information.
A year had passed since they last contacted each other.
For other people, that should’ve been more than enough time to move on and go find or entertain other people. But not for both Terry and Leah. They never thought of looking for any other dates, or getting into a serious relationship.
It was as if they had put their dating life on hold at the same time.
Fast forward to June 28, 2012. It was an ordinary morning when Terry went checking through his notifications on his Facebook. One particular friend request caught his attention. It was Lilya, and it turned out she was in America.
She had an opportunity to fly out and took it.
She landed a job in a hotel in Montana, and decided to make a Facebook account so she could keep in touch with her friends and family back in Ukraine.
However, it seems like Facebook had a different plan.
Terry’s profile was the first to appear on that “You May Know” tab on the social media platform. She confessed she thought about ignoring it because she was still under the impression that Terry wasn’t interested anymore.
At the same time, she wanted to take the chance. There were a bunch of what-ifs nagging in her mind, but she ignored them. Besides, she wouldn’t lose anything if she tried, so she sent a friend request.
Now, they’re already happily married.
It’s been years since they bumped into each other. Imagine what would have happened if both of them, throughout their story, didn’t take chances.
What If Terry didn’t join the event, or if he didn’t go with his guts and ask Lilya to go back with him during the socials?
And if Lilya didn’t grab the opportunity to go to America. If she believed her assumptions and didn’t hit that friend request button.
None of their love story would have existed if they hadn’t taken any chances.
Sure, fate or destiny can be a reason why people meet. But at the end of the day, it’s effort and determination to find and be with someone that’s going to finish your story.
So, put yourself out there. Step up and don’t be afraid to take your own chances. Who knows, the Lilya to your Terry might be one country or trip away.
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