Forgiveness
Forgiveness in Relationships: Pardoning Their Sins
“You did some things that you regret, still ride for you, because this house is not a home without my baby”
People often fear being in a relationship because they’re afraid of hurting their partners — emphasis on the word “hurt.” Whenever someone gets hurt or is afflicted, immediately what comes to mind is saying “Sorry.”
When it comes to relationships, the pain feels different. It’s more psychological and emotional. Forgiving your partner would be difficult, especially if they’ve done it repeatedly.
Loving someone who has wronged you or someone you wronged will never be easy, especially if you’re still learning to love your partner. Couples will experience emotional infliction even if it wasn’t intentional. Once hurt, their perception and trust towards their partner change. And when trust is broken, the chances of forgiveness will be drastically minuscule. Forgiveness in relationships is not as simple as you think.
“How do I forgive my partner despite everything they’ve done to me?”
“How can I ask my partner for forgiveness?”
If you’re having trouble forgiving or asking for forgiveness, here’s what you need to know.
When You’re Hurt by Your Partner (The Pardoner)
Being inflicted by your partner, you’d wonder if their actions are forgivable. The thoughts going through your mind, thinking if they are capable of causing you pain again. Anxiety builds, and the idea of forgiveness seems much like a reach.
You and your partner are not just two sides of the same coin; you are one entity. Your partner hasn’t realized that by hurting you, they’re hurting themselves. The realization will hit them later. It’s not the size of the action that matters; it’s how painful the action inflicted is.
Nevertheless, you’ve been hurt, and your partner is trying their best to ask for forgiveness. So here are some questions you need to ask so you can learn how to be forgiving in a relationship:
- How badly did they hurt you?
- Was it too much to handle?
- Are they usually like this?
- Were there any signs of them being capable of doing so?
- What did this problem cost?
- Can you move on from this?
- Will he abuse my forgiveness?
- Will you continue to love them after all this?
Forgiving someone is difficult. But remember, it’s the actions you’re forgiving, not the person. Never blame your partner; blame their decisions. Forgiving can give you closure and peace of mind.
When You Hurt Your Partner (The Pardoned)
It doesn’t matter how small or big the damage was, the fact is you hurt your partner. And you’re wondering how you should approach this. Well, before you go and say you’re sorry, calm yourself down and stay grounded. Here are the ways you can approach before asking for forgiveness:
- You need to retrace your steps from a neutral point of view; don’t look at it from your side of things, look at the events as if you’re seeing another person doing the same thing you did.
- Understand the gravity of the situation. Assess how much pain was inflicted on your partner.
- Give your partner some space. You don’t want to add more stimulation to their overwhelmed state.
- Ready to speak the truth, and nothing but the truth.
The chances of your partner forgiving you will depend on how maturely you will handle the situation. Don’t expect to be forgiven immediately just because you apologized. When you ask for forgiveness, it has to be sincere; no dramatics, no exaggerations. Talk to your partner as it is. And remember, forgiveness goes both ways. When you’re forgiven, you need to find a way that what you did will never happen again.
Water Under the Bridge
Forgiveness should be treated like water under the bridge. There’s no turning back towards it, no use coming back to it. You may look at what’s happened and see the wreckage underneath the waters, but again, no point in salvaging what’s done. It’s time to move forward, even if you’re hurt.
Being forgiven doesn’t mean you should do it again. Forgiveness is not a get-out-of-jail card; rather, it’s a pardoned warning for you. So never take advantage of your partner’s forgiveness.
The greatest hearts are those who can forgive. The biggest conscience you can give to someone who hurt you is to forgive them and make them understand the gravity of regret. Making someone regret and repent for their actions is one way to improve. To love someone, you have to be the better version of yourself.
Forgiveness in relationships is necessary, regardless if you’re the pardoner or the pardoned.
