DATING ADVICE
Giving Love Another Chance? Here’s What You Need to Know to Get Back to Dating
After dealing with a broken heart, it can be tough to get back on your feet.
Your last relationship may have ended badly, but it does not mean it’s the end of the world or the end of your romantic life. Instead, believe that you can get through your breakup, and trust that you’ll find someone better.
Things may turn out differently this time around.
Likewise, there’s nothing wrong with finding yourself someone new. But, it would be best that you start after you completely heal yourself and get over your past. That way, you get to move forward without any setbacks.
If you are planning to get back into the dating world anytime soon, here are a few tips to help you navigate your way around.
Asking Them Out
The first struggle of asking someone out is knowing when you can ask them out. Timing plays a huge role in the success of your romantic advancements.
You can ask them a few days before the date, or you can spontaneously ask them on the spot. It depends on the girl and the situation.
Aside from timing, your delivery is equally important. How you say it helps the person you’re asking out decide. If you are too persistent or wishy-washy, you’ll likely drive them off.
That’s why when asking a person out, you need to sound firm and sincere. You’re more likely to get their approval that way.
Arranging the Date
Some people prefer their dates to pick the place for them. They are probably the kind that likes surprises. On the other hand, some like to take charge and already know where they want to go.
It’s much better to meet in the middle and choose a place you both want to try.
When picking a venue, always make sure that you are both okay with it. You wouldn’t want to be the only one enjoying it, after all.
A fool-proof way of setting up the perfect first date is by looking at your common interests. Are you both into bowling? Then hit the bowling alley. Do you both like Japanese cuisine? Take her out to a Japanese restaurant she hasn’t been to before.
While the venue does make an impact on how the date goes, it doesn’t have to be completely perfect. The most important thing is that you both enjoy your time together.
Never Bring Up Your Last Relationship
One of the most awkward moments during a date is the silence when you’ve run out of things to talk about. But even so, it’s an absolute taboo to bring up any topic that brings bad memories.
Cardinal rule of dating after a rough breakup — never bring up your ex. It’s still the first date. Talking about previous relationships will only bring back bad memories, which bring out the bitter version of yourself.
It’s also a telltale sign that you aren’t over it. If so, then it’s highly encouraged that you take some time for yourself first. What you need is to heal, not a relationship.
Set Realistic Expectations
People would often tell you to chin up when you go back to dating. It’s good to have a positive mindset. What’s not good is setting unrealistic expectations.
You can’t expect to find the right person on the spot. It’s the reason why you’re out on a date — you’re still trying to see if you can work out. You’re never going to find a good match if you’re inflexible with your standards.
Everyone has their shortcomings, even you. So don’t expect to end up with a Mary Sue.
Don’t Pretend to Be Someone Else
It’s a given for you to put on your best behavior when you are on a date. However, that doesn’t mean you should pretend to be someone else.
You want to impress them, right? Then be true to yourself. It makes no sense to make them fall for your false self.
If they are not into you, then it’s clearly for the better. They might’ve seen some things between you that may not work. At the very least, they are honest. Think of it this way: you end up saving yourself from going through another round of heartbreak.
Splitting the Bill
There are three types of women on dates: one that offers to pay the bill, one that proposes to pay half, and one that leaves you to pay for the entire date.
Women who offer to foot the bill often have strong personalities. Those that offer to pay half are most likely mediators. The ones that leave it to you probably have traditional values and views on gender.
It’s up to you to decide which among these women are your type. As for whoever covers the bill, you’ll have to come to a compromise for that one.
After the Date
Do you still remember the 3-day rule? If so, then great!
But if you’re not familiar with this: it’s a dating tactic where you wait three days before reaching out to your date.
Though some people have grown out of this strategy. For them, why wait three days to contact the person you are interested in? It’s much better to reach out immediately. That way, they know you’re still interested.
Then again, others think that reaching out after a date makes you look desperate. It makes you look clingy, which lowers your attractiveness.
Are You Ready to Start Fresh?
It’s understandable if you’re not as suave as you were in your glory days. There’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to bring back the same you that’s as smooth as James Bond. Still, you can get pretty close to how you were back then.
Once you get the hang of dating, your muscle memory will kick in. You already have the knowledge and experience. All you need to do is refamiliarize yourself with your previous dating tactics.
And soon enough, you will find someone new.
Are you ready to go back into the dating scene?
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