DATING
Modern Dating Doesn’t Have to Be Scary
Dating sounds simple enough. A guy sees a woman he likes, sparks fly, and they hit it off from there. Unfortunately, the reality is it’s more than just that.
In the 21st century, dating has become convenient and accessible, thanks to the advancement of technology. But it has also become a lot more complicated. Enter online dating.
Modern dating has its share of stressors. Yes, meeting people on apps and websites is convenient — especially for long-distance flings. However, its cons may make some daters think twice about trying it out.
For one, its largely virtual nature brings ambiguity, which can generate confusion, frustration, and fear.
Two, it comes with unreasonable expectations. Various platforms paint pictures of ideal relationships as if they’re telling us what and how to feel. This sets the bar impossibly high for anyone to reach.
And three, most of us are scared of vulnerability. In a world where everything comes and goes quickly, people don’t want to open themselves out of fear of abandonment. People put up walls so they don’t get hurt.
But despite all the talk about how modern dating sucks, there are silver linings about romance in this century, making it worth your time nonetheless.
There’s No Secret to Success
Some of us ask relationship experts for secrets to dating success. However, the truth is that there’s no magic trick to modern romances. It’s all about navigating the scene — on your terms. No special thoughts and prayers are necessary here.
Contrary to popular belief, casual hookups aren’t the be-all and end-all of modern love. You decide what you want and how you’ll get it. You should be 100% sure about your preferences and priorities.
Ask yourself these questions before looking for matches:
- What do you want out of your matches?
- What kind of relationship are you looking for?
- What are your relationship non-negotiables?
Safety Tip: regardless of your intentions, do your research before pursuing someone. For all you know, it could be a scammer behind the persona you’re talking to.
Playing It Too Cool Is for Fools
Assumptions have led many of us to believe that the modern dating culture is all about playing it cool. Why? It seems as if the person with the most cool has the power. And by playing it cool, I mean making an effort to appear unemotional and unaffected.
This boils down to our fear of rejection. Since the hurt is too painful to bear, we try to one-up others by being passive-aggressive, hoping matches take a hint and chase us. Better them than us, yes?
Admit it — you’ve tried seeing who cares less between you and your match. The more you lay your cards on the table, the more you open yourself up to the possibility of pain. And in the modern world, vulnerability is apparently poisonous.
As human as it is, playing it too cool is a costly move. It sends people mixed signals, confusing them in the process.
Shame Is a Wasted Emotion
If you like someone, show it! There’s no shame in wearing your heart on your sleeve in this century.
So what if you’ve fallen in love with someone online and you can’t meet them yet? Lifestyles vary, and people shouldn’t hold that against you.
Hopeless romantics still have a fair shot at modern dating success, for as long as you know what you want and need. You’re okay with meeting in the middle, but you have non-negotiables you won’t compromise.
You shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting someone who loves openly just as much as you do, even in the age of swipes. Dating in the 21st century isn’t supposed to be a horror movie, so why not have fun while winging it?
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