REALITIES
A Relationship Rejection is Better than Missed Opportunities
“Missed opportunities hurt more than rejections.” — Steven Bartlett
Are you currently attracted to someone? How do you want things to turn out?
Maybe you want to pursue a deeper relationship with them. You want your attraction to motivate you to discard any hint of hesitation. You want to grab your chances instead of risking losing them. As they say, it’s now or never.
However, relationship rejection looms. What if they tell you “no” after asking them out? Worse, what if they cut you off after you confess your feelings?
Are you prepared for the possibility of feeling like you’re undeserving of love?
The possibility of rejection can make you think you’re not good enough to be someone’s partner. It can cause emotional distress, turning your romantic fantasies into horrible nightmares.
If you’ve already experienced rejection, you know how bad it feels. It might even have traumatized you that you refuse to make the first move.
Is there any other way of accepting reality without feeling the pang in your chest? Unfortunately, that will always be a part of it.
Perhaps at this point, you’re convincing yourself that hiding your feelings is better.
But which is really better: rejection or a missed romantic opportunity?
Relationship rejection — everyone is affected by it, especially someone with genuine intentions. For some, rejection even affects their daily function. So, part of being human includes dwelling on the pain and frustration it brings as a means to cope, which can last for some time.
Many of us already know this. However, a rejection isn’t entirely negative; it also brings positive outcomes.
The experience majorly contributes to your growth as an individual, as it teaches you lessons. For instance, it can make you realize your incompatibility with certain people. This allows you to reassess yourself and your abilities. Once you return to the dating scene, you have a better idea of who to look for and what to do.
It also helps you recognize the better things that are waiting for you. Moreover, rejection humbles you, making you empathetic and kinder to yourself and others.
I know it’s devastating to be denied and dismissed. However, a glorious failure is better than stuffing your dreams in the drawer.
Think of being rejected by someone you love as something similar to a vaccine. According to Aaron Ben-Zeev of Psychology Today, it hurts at first, but it will build your emotional immunity to future disappointment.
A missed romantic opportunity, however, is far from that. It’s like a disease. It sticks and hurts you for a long time and hardly contributes to your immune system. In other words, you suffer more compared to when you get rejected.
Ben-Zeev states that missed romantic opportunities have more emotional consequences that are difficult to overcome. One of which is regrets over the road not taken, which looms longer than regrets over a choice already made.
Moreover, the pain of a relationship rejection can be overcome by the fact that you have tried your best. On the other hand, “what ifs” will continue to haunt you because you didn’t even make any attempts.
The ball is on your court. Are you willing to take the risk or do nothing at all?
References
Ben-Zeév, Aaron. 2024. “Is Romantic Rejection Worse Than Romantic Regret?” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-of-love/202404/is-romantic-rejection-worse-than-romantic-regret.
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