PAST RELATIONSHIPS
Staying Friends with an Ex: How Can This Affect You?
Breakups happen, especially when two people fail to work on their differences. Some end on good terms, while others suffer from a bad ending.
However, regardless of how the breakup was, you might be one to ask, “Is staying friends with an ex a good idea?”
Friendship with a past lover is not inherently good or bad. The outcome can depend on your situation. With this, you need time to process your emotions and reflect, especially after just ending the relationship you once thought would last.
However, there’s also the future to consider. Say you’ve decided to maintain a friendship; how will this affect your life? Here are the two sides of the coin:
The Good Side of Friendship with an Ex
First, the good thing about staying friends with an ex is that you can use your connection.
You already know plenty about each other. Your initial bond serves as a strong foundation for your friendship. You’ll be able to find comfort with someone already significant in your life.
You also allow yourself to have peace with them as you replace the bad memories you had together with joyful, platonic ones.
Second, friendship is a great way to ease the transition to a single life. You’ll be able to overcome the aftershocks of the breakup. The feeling of loss and separation won’t be as heavy as when you completely cut off your connection. You won’t have to heavily suffer from endless nights of grieving for the breakup because you know they’ll stay, even as friends.
Lastly, you can learn from your experiences.
If you stay friends with an ex, you can gain insights from them. You have different perspectives of what happened in your relationship. You can ask your ex about theirs and learn from them. This newfound knowledge will help you determine the actions to improve and change in future relationships. With your separation comes maturity.
The Bad Side of Friendship with an Ex
On the flip side, a friendship with an ex can also be a bad idea.
First, it can be emotionally challenging. Breakups, regardless of how they end, are painful. This baggage can pose difficulties as you move forward. Instead of healing and moving on, you might constantly want to get back together. There’s a reason why many suggest going no-contact after a breakup.
Second, your friendship can cause confusion. The hope of rekindling your relationship can cloud your intentions and cause you to overstep boundaries. In turn, misunderstandings may arise and only further damage your connection.
Lastly, it may compromise your future relationships. Some people are uncomfortable with their partners still hanging around with their exes. Sometimes, you have to choose one.
Before you decide on friendship, consider the possible effects on your life.
Give yourself some time to think. Feel your emotions and assess whether staying friends with an ex is a good or bad idea for you. If you decide on the former, establish boundaries and practice respect. Most importantly, continue to pursue new relationships.
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