ADVICE
Recapitulating the Three-Month Rule
Dating is scary. One moment we’re blushing over someone we love. Next, we’re parting from them. A relationship is unpredictable, isn’t it?
If you’re someone planning to date or having a hard time moving on from a breakup, you might want to consider the three-month rule.
Three months is not a magic timeframe, but it is a good scale on determining how certain circumstances can affect your life whether positively or negatively.
So how does the three-month rule work at the very start of a relationship, and at the end of it?
Three-Month Rule in Dating
Three months is a good time to evaluate the potential of your new partner.
The rule suggests that you should have enough experience with your partner and gain all the necessary information within three months. By then, you’ll have had time to consider whether or not you want to keep the relationship going. This gives you a better understanding of each other’s qualities once you’ve moved past the initial stage of infatuation and getting to know one another.
You might wonder why it has to be three-months? Because research indicates that 90 days or three months is a reasonable amount of time to know someone beyond surface level, but not so long to waste time over someone who might not have the potential to be the right partner.
Things to Look For within Three Months
Communication Style
Good communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Pay attention to how your partner expresses their feelings, handles conflict and listens to you.
Shared Values and Goals
What makes a relationship more fulfilling is when your values and goals are aligned. Discuss topics like family, career aspirations and lifestyle preferences to see if you are both on the same page.
Fun and Enjoyment
Relationships become lasting when you enjoy spending time together. Of course, humor plays a huge part in this. Be with someone who makes you laugh even over the little things.
By giving yourself enough time to assess these things, you’ll be able to establish a lasting relationship. So make the most of your time.
Another version of the three-month rule applies to the end of the relationship.
Three-Month Rule after Breakup
Considering the three-month rule following a breakup with a significant other will assist you in regaining your dating momentum. This rule suggests that you give yourself three months before getting back to the dating sphere.
During this time, give yourself time to grieve and process the emotional fallout from the breakup. It helps healing and will assist you in reflecting back on your previous relationship.
The Accuracy of the Three-Month Rule after Breakup
This rule is more realistic than other time frames because it acknowledges that healing from a breakup takes time, that you have enough space to absorb your heartbreak and process your healing.
This rule might not be applicable to other people because this is a person-to-person case. Every relationship undergoes a different process of breaking up. If you realize it’s been three months and you’re still not over your ex, that’s okay. Take all your time in healing.
After all, there is no law on earth that tells you when you should move on.
What You Should Remember
There are various rules that are prevalent in our society today. It might be effective for you, but isn’t for others. Just take what resonates best in your situation and if this rule isn’t working, allow yourself to explore various timeframes.
Reference:
O’Connor, Zoe. 2024. Is the Three-Month Rule a Real Thing? What is the three-month rule in a relationship?
https://www.paired.com/articles/three-month-rule
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