PSYCHOLOGY

Types of Insecurities in a Relationship: Understanding Doubts

Lubov Demchuk
3 min readAug 19, 2024

If you find yourself constantly seeking validation from your partner or feeling anxious when they go out — even when you already know where they’re going — you could be insecure in your relationship.

What is relationship insecurity?

It is the feeling of uneasiness and self-doubt, leading to the lack of confidence in the relationship. Insecure people often believe they are not good enough for their partners and so they always worry about what the other is doing when they’re not with them.

Relationship insecurity can be difficult to recognize, but there are key signs you can look out for, including jealousy, worry, attention seeking, and argumentative behavior, even at the smallest of things.

There are different types of insecurities in a relationship that you or your partner may experience. They stem from past experiences and unresolved trauma. Learning about each one can help you identify them and react accordingly.

Photo by Eleanor Jane on Pexels

Here are 7 types of relationship insecurities according to marriage.com.

Emotional Insecurity

This involves questioning one’s emotions and the ability to provide adequate feelings towards your partner.

When you are emotionally insecure, you tend to argue about trivial things with your partner and are more likely to develop trust issues.

Attachment Insecurity

There are two sides to attachment insecurity. On one side, you struggle to maintain an emotional connection with your partner and when things start to get serious, you are usually the first to bail.

The other side of this insecurity is the opposite. Because you are insecure about your attachment, you tend to be unnecessarily clingy. You fear being left behind and so you are afraid of letting your partner out of your sight.

Physical Insecurity

If you are suffering from this, you may constantly think that your physical features are not as ideal as you think they are.

As a result of this insecurity, you might feel like your partner will cheat on you with someone more attractive.

Financial Insecurity

Financial insecurity is when you fear you won’t be able to resolve your finances. This can also happen when your partner is earning more than you, making you feel inferior just because they have a greater capacity to provide. The thought of this relationship dynamic affects your psyche.

Professional Insecurity

This type of insecurity involves uncertainty concerning continued employment or job security. This usually results from workplace factors, such as massive layoffs or company closures.

Losing your job directly affects your ability to provide, which in turn negatively impacts every other aspect of your life.

Insecurity over Basic Needs

Food, shelter, healthcare, hygiene, and safety are some of the basic human needs. If you struggle to meet these needs, you will feel insecure and that feeling can negatively affect your behavior, especially when it comes to relationships.

You feel conscious about not being able to meet the basic needs of your partner, which can develop into a myriad of emotional insecurities that may hurt your relationship.

Social Insecurity

Social insecurity happens when you have this desire to show the world how happy and madly in love you are with your partner. Even if that is not always the case, you stress yourself out thinking about the details of how to keep up your charade.

These relationship insecurities will inevitably consume you at some point in your life if you fail to recognize them. You are not powerless, though. You will only suffer from these insecurities if you let them. Thus, knowing how to manage these prolonged and unavoidable feelings is essential to a happy and long-lasting partnership. But that is a topic for another day.

Reference:

Marriage.com Editorial Team. 2023.

7 Types of Insecurities in a Relationship & Their Effects.

https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/types-of-insecurities-in-a-relationship/

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