LOVE & FRIENDSHIPS
Falling for a Friend Is Complicated
Falling for a friend is a tale as old as time itself. It can play out in two ways. One, you and this person have been friends for a while, and you’ve started catching feelings for them. Or two, you’ve been carrying a torch for a specific friend for a long time.
Either way, it’s a feeling many of us are familiar with.
The Signs
How can you tell if your platonic view is shifting to more romantic gears? You may want to watch out for these hints:
1. You start feeling nervous around them
Do butterflies start fluttering in your stomach at the sight of your friend? Nervousness is among the first signs of change. It becomes pretty evident if you’ve felt it more than once. If your behavior changes around them, you may be entering romantic territory.
2. You pick up on the little things
Let’s say you’ve noticed your friend’s tendency to repeatedly wear certain shirts because they’re in specific colors they like. There’s a reason you’ve caught on to this habit.
Crushes heighten your awareness. And because of that, you start noticing even the tiniest details about the object of your affection — in this case, your friend.
3. They become your go-to person
Friends naturally keep each other close. However, the tides may turn when you go to them for almost everything.
Say, for example, you need to fulfill a ton of errands. The thing is, you feel overwhelmed because you need to do them all yourself. You ask your friend/crush if they’re free and want to tag along with you. And as luck would have it, they say yes and happily join you.
This reliance (for lack of a better term) is a sign of your increasing feelings. The more you go to your friend, the deeper you’ll fall.
4. You compare everyone else to them
It’s not that you think nobody else can hold a candle to your friend. You just can’t help but make comparisons! You can’t seem to connect with anyone else the way you and your friend vibe off each other.
5. You want to be around them all the time
Friends constantly hanging out is normal. But if you find yourself craving a specific friend’s company often, that may be a sign of further attachment.
Why Is It Hard?
Going from “I like this friend” to “I really like this friend” is the stuff of some of the best rom-coms. However, reality isn’t like the movies.
Falling in love with a friend can surprise even the most seasoned daters. Catching feelings for someone familiar and seeing them in a different light can confuse and scare us. And that’s what makes all this complicated.
Love always leads to unknown outcomes. Can friends fall in love after years of knowing each other? Yes, it’s possible. However, who knows if your friend feels the same way?
And if they find out about your feelings, dynamics will certainly change. This can happen in two ways.
One, your confession/their discovery may prompt your friend to make an admission themselves. They tell you that the feeling is mutual, and you two hit things off from there. Sounds great, yes?
However, things can, unfortunately, go sideways the moment your friend finds out about your feelings, they may recoil, resulting in an awkward and crumbling friendship. You’ll probably indulge in self-blame, telling yourself, “Maybe if I didn’t fall for a friend, I wouldn’t be hurting like this.”
Guard Your Heart
Regardless if your feelings go beyond infatuation or not, always remember to protect your heart— especially if the feelings aren’t reciprocal. The last thing you want is a broken heart.
Falling for a friend is hard, but it doesn’t have to be a hellish experience. There’s no use denying your feelings, so act on them as healthily as possible without crossing anyone’s boundaries. You’re better off letting your emotions out instead of suppressing them until you explode at the wrong moment.
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