First Dates
First Date Rules | Leaving a Good Impression
Going out on a date can be scary — what more if it’s your first date?
But while it’s a challenge for some, for others, it’s a cakewalk. Although don’t be fooled by people who find it easy to go on dates, they still manage to mess up opportunities because of wrong assumptions and missed cues.
So how do you survive a first date without leaving a bad impression all while making your date enjoyable? If you don’t know the answer, then perhaps it’s time you learn about the so-called “First Date Rules.”
Rules for the First Date: Preparation
Congratulations! You’ve managed to land a date with the person you’re attracted to. Now what? All these thoughts rush through your head: What am I supposed to do now? How do I make myself look good? What do I do to make them feel comfortable?
The rules on a first date will guide you on what to do and what not to do on your date. So listen up, here are some things you need to take note of, and some things you should avoid doing.
Scout the Place
Pretty sure you’ve just asked out your potential partner and they’ve agreed to go out with you, but you’re both unsure where to go. Although it’s nice to be spontaneous, you shouldn’t do that on your first meet-up. Instead, look for places that will pique both of your interests. It doesn’t have to be something grand or luxurious; it can be an activity or a place that’s a little more unique than what you’re used to.
Look for a spot that looks fun, and safe, is a good place to meet up, and isn’t too crowded. You wouldn’t want to feel too conscious about being in public with a crowd. Find somewhere that’s relaxing and exciting at the same time. Avoid areas where you’re forced to be quiet. Loud music, for example, can limit your conversations.
And don’t even think about asking your date to come to your house. It’s a big no-no.
Plan the Type of Date
What do you plan to do on your date? What kind of activities would you be doing? Would you prefer to do something fun or would you rather just hang out and chill?
They say first dates are memorable if they involve physical activities. These activities cause your body to release endorphins, “feel-good” chemicals that will make you and your partner feel relaxed and happy. Jogging in a park, driving go-karts, indoor rock climbing, playing mini golf, riding a motorcycle, or hiking are examples of active dates.
If both of you are not into active dates, go for something mentally stimulating. A visit to the art gallery or museum is great for a first date. If you’re both into music, you can go to music and jazz bars; that way you can enjoy some live music and converse while having a few light drinks together.
Dress for the Occasion
Take note: This is very important. You can’t go out on a date looking like you’re just out to get groceries. Wear something that fits the type of date you’re going to. And more importantly, wear something you’re comfortable with.
A romantic dinner date, for example, is best with formal or semi-formal attire. If the place is somewhere you’ll get sweaty, wear activewear that fits the type of activity you’ll be participating in.
Don’t be too lazy. It doesn’t matter what brand you’re wearing or what style you’re copying from; your date will be eyeing you from head to toe.
Rules for the First Date: During the Date
With everything set up, you should now be on a date with your potential partner. Don’t overthink things, or else you’ll mess up. Be mindful of these tips so everything will go smoothly:
- Normally the people you’d be going on dates with are people with polarizing personalities, little common interests, and even opposite views on life. Just relax, go with the flow, and engage with your date. Don’t force things.
- Avoid talking too much about your exes or your failed relationships. It’s normal to talk about them but making them your main topic will show your date that you still haven’t moved on.
- Avoid diving too deep into politics or anything controversial. Talking about those topics is fun and mentally stimulating, but if you find that you have opposing views, your date will fail faster than you can bail.
- Don’t be too formal when you talk. This is a date, NOT a job application. Whenever you ask, don’t make your partner feel like they’re in an interview. You’re here to spend some quality time while getting to know each other.
- Never point out something that can’t be changed within 10 seconds. It’s rude, impolite, and it’s one way for your date to head to the door. If you see something odd, just wait for the next date or if they open up about it.
- Whenever you ask questions about your date, don’t go for a yes or no type of question, or questions that lead to closed answers. Rather, ask open-ended questions like “What’s your opinion about the job you have now?” or “What’s a day in your life like?” any question that leads them to explain and not just give out one-bit answers.
- Don’t be afraid when things get quiet. Appreciate the moment that you’re in. There’s a difference between being comfortably silent and having awkward silence.
It Applies to ALL Dates
So, you survived your first date. Are the “First Date Rules” useless now?
The beauty of these unwritten rules is that you can still apply them to every date you go to; be it a second date with the same person, or the fifth date. It is common courtesy to be polite, engaging, and proper. Whether you’ve successfully gotten into a relationship, or still finding a new date, it doesn’t hurt to apply what you’ve learned from these rules.
However, this is not your cheat code to having successful dates; because at the end of the day, it is the effort you put into the date and how you execute it that matters. So if you get rejected after a series of dates, that’s okay, it’s a learning process.
Put in the effort to make your plans work. This isn’t life or death of course, but treat every date as if it’s your last. Make every moment worth it, no matter how awkward it gets. What matters is that you leave a good impression, regardless if your date was a success or a failure.
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