Psychology
Into the World of Vulnerable Men
“I got daddy issues that’s on me
Looking for “I love you”, rarely empathized for my relief
A child that grew accustomed, jumping up when I scraped my knee
’Cause if I cried about it, he’d surely tell me not to be weak”
Have you ever noticed how men seem to have a tough time understanding emotions, especially when it comes to dating or relationships? It’s a common struggle, but what’s really going on behind those stoic faces?
For a long time, society has taught men to hide their feelings. Phrases like “man up” or “just deal with it” have become part of the narrative, pushing many to bottle up their emotions instead of expressing them. This can create a real disconnect — not just in how they relate to themselves, but also in how they connect with the women in their lives.
As a result, men sometimes make impulsive decisions, thinking they’re doing the right thing, only to face consequences that could have been avoided. So what’s driving this behavior? What experiences have shaped their emotional landscape? Let’s dive into these questions and explore the complexities of vulnerable men.
The Fear of Vulnerability
From an early age, most men were told not to cry because it’s not manly — only women cry. Over time, they develop a disdain for showing emotions. Society dictates that men should be strong and should never show any signs of weakness; I couldn’t imagine what my partner had gone through when he was a child and had to bottle up his emotions to avoid looking unmanly. Imagine being told that you’re weak if you show any signs of pain or hurt.
Children with “Daddy Issues” are also a common cause. The same fathers who did not show love and validation to their sons were also misguided and unloved sons of their fathers. A cycle of lovelessness, creating a narrative in their minds; thinking that discipline is a manner of showing affection and care.
Men are left with the scars of their childhood — shy and indifferent towards the thought of expressing themselves. When they finally grow up to become adults, they develop this fear of vulnerability due to the sense of fear instilled in them in their childhood.
However, the fear of vulnerability isn’t something that only comes from childhood experiences. In reality, it can also develop later in life. For instance, some women may take advantage of men’s weaknesses, which can impact how men feel about opening up. As a result, many men find it hard to trust women when it comes to being vulnerable around them.
Think of it as a figurative Delilah cutting Samson’s hair; unapologetic and broken women taking advantage of men’s vulnerabilities. This kind of behavior can leave lasting emotional scars, making it even harder for men to let their guard down in future relationships.
Understanding Men’s Emotional Needs
It’s time for my fellow women to be more patient towards vulnerable men. Have they not gone through enough in this life just to be treated harshly? Men have tried their best to piece every puzzle we let them solve.
The lack of communication that mostly happens in the lives of men is what causes them to shut their feelings out. As women, we are known to be the nurturers and healers of the pack or tribe — naturally tending to the injured. These men have sustained emotional damage that needs to be talked about and healed.
Men and Vulnerability Need to Be a Social Norm
I hope whoever reads this should never apologize for being vulnerable. They have the right to feel sadness, loneliness, and validation. If women can ask for validation, why should we not validate men’s feelings too? All humans, male or female, deserve to be loved, heard, and connected.
Society needs to understand that men’s fear of vulnerability is something that needs to be changed. Vulnerable men should equally be considered strong. Why is that so? Not only do they carry the burden of expectations, but they are strong enough to make sure no one else feels the same way they do.
