Relationships
How to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Relationships
When we hear the term “emotional intelligence,” it might feel like a buzzword that everyone talks about — but not many truly understand. Few realize how crucial it is to nurturing meaningful relationships in our lives. Emotional intelligence isn’t just a skill; it’s a superpower that allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, understand our own feelings, and navigate the complexities of relationships.
Imagine being able to recognize when your partner is feeling down, even if they don’t say a word, or knowing how to express your emotions without fear of conflict. These abilities can transform not only our personal relationships but also our professional ones. Developing emotional intelligence, also called Emotional Quotient (EQ), can lead to greater empathy, improved communication, and stronger bonds with those we care about.
That said, let’s delve into why EQ is essential for thriving in relationships and offer tips on enhancing it.
Emotional Intelligence in Relationships
Why is emotional intelligence important in maintaining healthy relationships? When we communicate with our partners, we try to understand how they feel. We perceive what they feel, so we adjust our tone of message and our responses.
But sometimes, we get things wrong. Instead of saying what we want to say in a way our partner would feel assured, we do it some other way. As a result, our partner ends up feeling bad about what has been said.
Worse, we tend to think only of ourselves when we communicate with our partner not knowing how it might affect them. The lack of empathy and selfishness is one of the reasons why many relationships don’t last.
So how do we avoid miscommunicating each other’s feelings?
Having emotional intelligence is important to understand our partners better. Being empathetic allows us to fortify our bonds with them. Being able to recognize and be aware of our actions can prevent long-term issues from happening in the relationship.
Developing our EQ
Not everyone is as sociable as others. Sometimes, people can be as dense as a rock. And funny enough, they look clueless when they wonder why their partners leave them. But maybe you’re wondering “What if I am dense?” “Maybe they were right. Maybe I was emotionally unavailable.”
Awareness and Acknowledgement
Being aware is the first step to developing our emotional intelligence. Recognizing your actions and the effects they do helps build your empathy.
Having awareness puts you in a position where you’re able to think first before you speak or do something; preparing for the outcome if you do something wrong or say something bad.
Reflection
Try looking at yourself in the mirror. You only see yourself, yes? Now close your eyes, and imagine that your partner is standing in front of you. Talk to the image for a minute, and respond like how you always do. Now open your eyes, and once again you only see yourself.
This is the analogy of “What you say reflects who you are.” Would you like people to talk to you that way? How much more if it was your partner? This is not to say you should always be gentle with how you speak, because you can mask spite and anger with gentleness.
Like the golden rule “Do unto others, what others would have done unto you.” If you want to be treated with kindness, be kind to others first. If you want your partner to show you love, then show them love.
Active Listening, Not Hearing
People who often listen develop a deeper sense of emotional intelligence. Did you know that there’s a huge difference between listening and hearing? You hear sounds, people talking, noises; you’re using one of your senses. But with listening, you listen to what they say; understanding their tone, how they speak, and how they say it.
When you’re listening to someone, it means you’re engaging yourself to allow the other person to relay their message. Active listening creates a deeper trust between you and your partner. It shows that you are present, and paying attention to them.
When you learn to listen actively, you’re not only showing effort that you want to understand your partner more, but you’re doing yourself a favor by opening your mind to different things.
Take Your Time
Understandably, developing your emotional intelligence takes a while. Before you spearhead yourself toward your partner’s feelings, you can always ask your therapist or counselor first to help you start with basic exercises on how to develop emotional intelligence. Yes, it takes time, but it’s all worth it in the end.
Related read
