Psychology
Longing and Yearning: To Love, To Be Loved
It’s no surprise that people all around the world have felt this eerie feeling of desire. It’s more than a “want” and less than a “need”. Have you felt this feeling but don’t understand what it is?
It’s called longing and yearning. Why do we long and yearn?
Defining Longing and Yearning: The Key Differences
Have you heard the saying, “Longing to love, yearning to be loved?” You’d probably think they’re the same thing, but people often mistake the difference between longing and yearning; usually using the terms interchangeably. Although similar in context, they have different meanings.
Yearning | The Desire to Obtain
“Let me love you like you need, and I’ll make it my responsibility”
Whenever a person desires something they have yet to experience, they’re yearning for it. To yearn for something — or in relationships, someone — is desiring what one can’t easily obtain or unsure if it will ever be obtained.
For example, a man who was born and raised as a slave sees other people doing their own thing without anyone commanding them. He sees them as being free to do their own will. He is yearning for freedom. He yearns for something he wishes to have but knows it’s almost impossible to obtain.
Just like people yearning for love, they have yet to experience such a feeling. They were either raised in a home that has never shown what it’s like to be loved, or the people around them severely mistreated them, or they grew up in an environment where expressing love is being suppressed.
Longing | The Desire to Attain Again
“The sound of your voice was my all, was my home, but these walls, they can’t hear you anymore”
To clarify, longing for something/someone is to desire what you can easily attain or you know is bound to be attained. People who long to love or be loved have experienced the euphoria of what it’s like; they understood what they felt when they experienced it for the first time.
For example, a woman is in a relationship with a man and they’ve been together for so long; until one day they break the relationship off. The happiness she felt in her relationship makes her long to be in one again.
Is It Foolish to Yearn or Long For Love?
It is never foolish to feel such things; as human beings, we’re very social creatures. When we feel lonely, we wish to be a part of a group or have someone in our lives to avoid the loneliness. We thrive off of genuine human connection. Of course, it’s normal to long for something we’ve had and to yearn for something we never had.
Love is meant to be shared, given, and received; so of course, we silently or loudly ask ourselves “When can we have it? “Although we feel shameful to be feeling these kinds of things, it’s never wrong to wonder when it is our turn to experience what others have.
You are meant to love and be loved. Your heart is never foolish to yearn or long for it. Never be ashamed to yearn or long for something or someone.
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